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21 Financial Models Using Cows‏

Friday, May 1st, 2009

Someone sent me this list today.  A little fun, with a little bit too much truth.  What model are we?

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy…

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

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Obama Responds to Tea Party Movement

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

On his 100th day in office, Obama said he would like to have a “serious” discussion” about how the federal government can rein in spending and meet its long term obligations.

“I know you’ve been hearing all these arguments about, oh, ‘Obama is just spending crazy,’” the president said at a town hall event in Arnold, Missouri Wednesday. “Well, let me make a point. Number one, we inherited a $1.3 trillion deficit — that wasn’t from my — that wasn’t me.”

“Number two, there is almost uniform consensus among economists that in the middle of the biggest crisis — financial crisis since the Great Depression, we had to take extraordinary steps. So you’ve got a lot of Republican economists who agree that we had to do a stimulus package and we had to do something about the banks.”

First: Inheriting a mess is no excuse for making it worse. If a car is going full steam towards a brick wall, you shouldn’t hit the accelerator.

Second: Uniform consensus among what economists? The same economists that got us into this mess? The same economists that told our economy was great the last few years? How about we start talking to the economists that warned us that we were heading toward an economic downturn, rather than the bipartisan cheer leading economists that uniformly believe the government must manipulate the money supply and that government intervention is required to “stabilize” the economy. Is it possible that the economist parrots we hear on TV are all in agreement and in the public eye because the politicians in Washington don’t want us to hear from economists that have more faith in free markets and free people?

Reducing our arguments to “eliminating programs to those who need them” and “cutting taxes on the rich” is the same demeaning political crap that you said you would rise above in bringing hope and change to the White House. Well, Mr. President, I hope you actually address some real concerns from the Tea Partiers, like where in the Constitution does Washington have the authority to use our money to support failing big business? When you were teaching constitutional law, did you skip a lecture on the 10th Amendment? Mr. President, how do you promote freedom, responsibility, respect for others, and the kind of serious debate you claim we lack, if our government tells the people that we cannot take care of ourselves, that we need you to fix all of our problems, and that if only we went back to sleep and left our wallets on the nightstand, you intellectuals in Washington will fix our problems with just a few more government programs? Addressing these questions would be a nice change.

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Intrepid Fox News Reporter Ignites Tea Partiers | ReTeaParty

Monday, March 16th, 2009

DIGG IT

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America’s Tea Party | July 4, 2009

Friday, March 13th, 2009

The Boston Tea Party was an act of direct protest by American Colonists demanding representation in the British Government. They became known as the original patriots.

America’s Tea Party of 2009 will reinvigorate that American and Patriotic spirit; one that demands respect for individual rights and property. As the bailouts spiral out of control, we are forced to fund failed banks. With foreclosures on the rise, we are made the collateral of reckless spending. And, when the bills come due, the IRS knocks on the door of “self-responsibility”.

ENOUGH!

America is the land of opportunity. To succeed AND to Fail. Without consequences, what is our incentive to learn? What is our incentive to produce? On July 4, 2009, those that ask nothing from the government but the protection of our inalienable right to succeed, will gather in Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston , and everywhere in between across the country in an historic act of direct protest.

Dissent is the highest form of Patriotism. - Thomas Paine

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We The People | The Passion Builds

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Submitted by Paul Williams, this video characterizes the sentiments and desire for self-responsibility. It’s time to break the silence!

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April 1, 2009 | Tea Bag the Fools in D.C.

Friday, February 27th, 2009

Our founders have stopped rolling over in their graves. After months of tossing and turning, we have finally taken back the banner of hope that has been hijacked by the “do-good” saviors.

Statist sympathizers call us cynics; those who complain without answers of our own. They call us “selfish”, implying that funding failure is altruistic. While America was founded on those who do, they ask us to submit to those who can’t.

ENOUGH!

On December 16, 1773, the original Patriots put their lives on the line. With an envelope, a stamp, and a bag of tea, millions of Americans can send a peaceful message; our lives have value.

On April 1st, our establishment will know that our freedom to succeed can no longer be sacrificed at the risk of our future.

With sincerity and respect, we ask that you join us on April 1st, 2009, in sending the Oval Office a Tea Bag, in honor of the party in Boston on December 16, 1773, and in anticipation of its nationwide symbolic re-enactment in the summer of 2009.

If you have had enough, please submit your pledge to send Washington a Tea Bag on April 1st by using the pledge form in the right sidebar.

>>>FIND YOUR REPRESENTATIVE HERE <<<

Follow the links to join us in Chicago or at Tea Parties all over the country and visit the forum to discuss and organize details with other attendees and organizers.

Spark a Re-Revolution,

ReTeaParty.com

DOWNLOAD & PERSONALIZE A LETTER HERE

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Rick Santelli Calls Gibbs’ Bluff

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

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Watch Out, Mr. President, Because We’re Mad As Hell!

Friday, February 20th, 2009

FOXNews wrote an article which draws comparison between the 1976 film Network and Rick Santelli’s call for a Chicago Tea Party.

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

In the 1970s, that phrase was made popular by the movie “Network,” where anchor Howard Beale parodied what TV news might become. In 2009, millions of us are mad as hell –- not at TV but at politics. Americans are mad because most of us play the game the right way and if we do, we are now the ones who lose.

Ordinary Americans try to do the right thing, just like Spike Lee told us. We get up, we go to work, raise our families, obey the law and pay our debts. We are mellower versions of the Clint Eastwood character in “Gran Torino.” We just want to be left alone –- by government especially.

Read More…

Draw your own conclusions:

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Peter Schiff Explains Capitalism to CNN

Friday, February 20th, 2009

Peter Schiff puts a smackdown on CNN WorldWide:

“You think bureaucrats in Washington know what kind of cars Americans want to buy? Socialism doesn’t work. Centralized government planning doesn’t work.”

“Our economy is in trouble because we are suffering the consequences of too much government.”

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Rick Santelli sticks up for America - CNBC

Thursday, February 19th, 2009

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